Road to Recovery

Today, I’ve woke up and decided I was going to be healthy and have an egg sandwich. I go into the kitchen to see that my mom made chocolate chip pancakes.

ugh.

I had about 2 and a half of those…then 2 scrambled eggs with cheese…and a small piece of sausage.

Not bad right?

Oh wait…but then I wanted the cookies and brownie I brought home from work last night.  I had a white chocolate macadamia nut cookie, half of a m&m double doozie (2 cookies with icing in the middle), and a red velvet brownie. That was at 12:30 and it’s almost 5pm.

I’m having a salad tonight, with a boiled egg and some tuna on top. Unless I talk myself out of it, which wouldn’t the first time that has happened. Or the second. Or the thousandth.

I keep wondering where my willpower went. I lost 40 pounds…then gained 20 back. I want to lose 10 of it by April. I have to be 135 by April. Because prom is in May, and I’ll be damned if I go to prom fat.